Thursday, July 20, 2006

To Thine Own Self Be True

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare

4 comments:

CyberKitten said...

Hardly a truer word said.

snaars said...

CK: thanks for the comment.

I always thought I knew myself pretty well - that I was "centered". Now I find myself trying to be something that I never imagined before.

I find myself off-balance. I've moved twice since last october and I've had two new jobs in the same time frame.

My third child will be born any day now. I'm not making enough money to support my family and I'm relying on my parents for income. I struggle with guilt for not providing well for my own family and for sapping my parents of their well-deserved retirement money.

The car business does not fit me well so far. I'm confronting and overcoming some of the tendencies in myself that were getting in the way, but I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable with the job.

A lot of it is just timing - this is supposed to be the busiest time of the year in the car business, but there's been no traffic. This dealership is just ... DEAD! I haven't gone on a test drive all week! It's not ME ... there's just no one coming in.

Time is at a premium right now. Am I wasting my time? I should be doing something else ... but what? I'm wracking my brain - I've been doing so for eight months now ... What am I supposed to be doing? What can I do that I haven't done already?

CyberKitten said...

You certainly have a LOT on your plate ATM. There's no doubt about that. I guess that all you can do is - well, your best I guess.

If you've been wrecking your brain for eight months you must be EXHAUSTED by now. I can only brain-wreck for a few hours at a time. My hat is off to you!

I'm speedily heading towards my 50's and I haven't really decided what I want to do with my life yet... so that's not really much to worry about. I'm guessing that things aren't stable enough in your life to plan very far ahead. But then I think that life planning is very over-rated. Remember: No plan ever survives contact with the enemy!

Things can't stay chaotic forever (at least I HOPE not). All you can do really is to keep your (spider) senses tuned to opportunities that may come your way. I certainly hope that something better than trying to sell cars is in your future.

You definitely have my fingers crossed for you!

Anonymous said...

hey cyberkitten:

I think that life planning is very over-rated. Remember: No plan ever survives contact with the enemy!

nice call. obviously the enemy in this case is time!